_AIDS _
By: Anonymous
Acquired Immune Deficiency better knows, as AIDS is a virus that is affecting
families all over the Unites States today. In a statistical study done by the
United States Department of Health and Human Services they reported that
633,000 people were diagnosed with AIDS in 1997 and 393,416 deaths from the
virus were reported (United States). Although AIDS is not a very highly
contagious disease like chicken pox, measles, or the pink eye it affects a
great number of people and their families in todays societyWhen ones
family member first finds out about a loved one contracting the disease there
are a range of reactions and emotions they go through The first big reaction
the family usually has is anger. The family members are not mad at the person
that has contracted this terminal illness but at the situation they are in
claiming that it is unfair. No one regardless of how he or she becomes
infected asked for or deserved this infection. Steven Charles who became
infected through sexual intercourse said Why me? I didnt do anything wrong,
I never hurt anyone, I was doing what seemed right to me (Bartlett, p. 80).
These are many questions the victims usually ask themselves when they receive
the news that they have contracted this virus. The family members on the other
hand ask similar questions when they find out about a loved one contracting
AIDS. They are very confused and they are searching for answers as to why this
has happened to a perfectly good person? Why god is mad at them and doing this
to their family? B.A May The next reaction that people and their family
members have is depression. Depression is the feeling of being alone and
helpless. Many family members of a loved one that has contracted AIDS blame
themselves and ask; why wasnt I there to stop them, why didnt I pick up on
them using intervenes drugs? The victims of AIDS also go into deep depression.
They feel lonely and alienated from their friends, relatives, neighbors, and
co-workers. They also think of taking drastic measures, which would be
committing suicide, or just thinking about dying. Most victims try to be
strong for their families. Lisa Pratt whos husband is a victim of AIDS
states, I didnt want to cry in front of my family. I cried when I was alone
in the car, and in the shower (Bartlett, p. 84). When people feel this alone
and helpless is it considered to be mild depression. These feelings can also
lead into deep depression, which would include thoughts of dying and suicide.
When a person starts to feel this hopeless and non-existent they need to seek
professional help. They can not function daily with the feeling of
hopelessness. With these feelings the victims and their family will soon
become fatigued from lack of sleep. Family members and the victims next go
through the stage of fatigue. When you think of a person being fatigued you
normally think of the physical aspect, but the family members and victims go
through physiological fatigue also. The victims go through the physical
fatigue first. Once they are depressed they lose hope they also lose their
ability to want to get up in the morning. They are always dead tired, because
they have no energy. The family members on the other hand are going through
the physiological fatigue. They see their loved one wasting away day after
day, and it mentally drains them. The virus described by Lisa Pratt, whos
husband has AIDS, is a B.A May series of little deaths (Bartlett, p. 89).
The people with this virus have to let the little things they used to love
doing in life like mowing the grass, or hiking in the mountains go because
they do not have the energy to do them anymore. When this starts happening to
victims it frustrates them. What the family member needs to remind them is
that they are doing the best job they can possibly do, and what they can not
do today, maybe they will have the energy for it tomorrow. For victims of AIDS
the saying dont put off tomorrow for what you can do today does not apply.
They have to put things off for another day because they do not have the
energy to complete all of their tasks in one day. The next reaction the
families and victims go through is fear, fear that they are going through
something that they can not control and can not get better. It is not like
going through the flu, because this virus will not get better. The families
also worry about their loved one suffering and dying. Some say that they do
not worry about the member dying, but how they are going to die. They wonder
if it is going to be a long suffering painful death or just one that is fast
and un-painful. When June goes with her son to the hospital, she feels fear:
It is hard for me to see his friends who are also in the hospital. I think,
whats the last time going to be like for him? Its so frightening (Bartlett,
p. 91). Fear is what causes a lot of problems for the family members and
victims. Once fear has set into people it can cause someone to feel uneasy
about everything they do in life, and sometimes people start to fear life.
When fear is this bad in a persons life they must see a doctor or therapist to
seek advice or medication that will help them. As the famous quote goes there
is nothing to fear in life but fear itself. B.A May The final emotion the
families and victims experience is the feeling of guilt. The victim feels
guilty for contracting the virus claiming that they should have practiced safe
sex or not used drugs. The victim also feels guilty for bringing the disease
home to their family members and putting them at risk for contracting it.
Many people also feel guilt about the behavior that put them at risk in the
first place. The behaviors that exposed most people to the virus- gay
lovemaking and intravenous drug use are behaviors of which society often
disapproves. For many people social disapproval is distressing, and they feel
isolated and punished (Bartlett, p. 94). People who are often struck as
feeling guilty all of the time have trouble breathing, are nauseated, break
out into cold sweats, have racing pulses, and have a feeling of being panicky
most of the time. As you can see these are symptoms in which people can not
live with on a daily basis. Medical attention should be given to anyone who
has these symptoms. The victims and families need to learn to be comfortable
with themselves and the people surrounding them. Along with families going
through all of the initial reactions of finding out a loved one has contracted
AIDS families then have to emotionally prepare and accept the death of that
family member. Death is hard to think about, harder to face. The thought of
death is slippery, difficult to focus on, surrounded by a cloud of pain and
fear (Bartlett, p. 258). No matter how positive a family member is every time
you see a loved one that has a terminal illness and is dying all you can do is
think about their time running out. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross stated that there
are stages that occur when one is confronted with death: first there is
denial, then anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. These
stages are very true with a person who has contracted AIDS, and is B.A May
also true for the family members of a terminally ill person. For family
members who see their sick loved one every day struggling to survive it hurts
them badly. They will do everything in their power to try to keep the dying
person alive. Lisa Pratt said, I was fighting to keep my husband alive. I
just didnt want to give up. He said to me, dont you know Lisa, its just one
sickness after another. I said never mind, just keep fighting (Bartlett,
p.268). This is one instance when a family member does not want to let go of
their loved one. Soon or later they have to let go because the person with the
illness is going to die, and after they are gone you have to finally accept
their death and move on. According to Kubler-Ross it is important of the
presence of loved ones in the final stages of anyones death. It helps to
assure the person that is dying that everything is going to be all right. In
the words of Lisa Pratt I think it helps them die (Bartlett, p.268) When
thinking of the death of a loved one an anonymous writer wrote; when you were
born you cried and the world rejoiced, live your life in such a manner that
when you die the world cries and you rejoice. This is a wonderful quote when
you think of people dying from terminal illnesses. It is very comforting to
think that when a loved one dies that they rejoice. They rejoice because their
body is worn out and tired and they are ready to pass on to the next level
B.A May In conclusion AIDS is a very painful and drawn out illness that both
the patient and the family members have to go through. Everyone is different
and some may not experience the stages of emotions that I have listed. Through
the process of dealing with a terminally ill person it helps to keep a
positive out look on life. It is better to think of someone with AIDS as
living with the virus not dying from it. They will not be dying from the
illness until they have breathed their last breath. For everything there is a
season, and a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born and a time
to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to
kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time
to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance (NIV
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
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